The Wilkie Crew is an ever-changing conglomerate of personnel. People come and go dependant on holidays, family commitments,funding and most importantly how much "piss" they think they can have taken out of them in 3-5 days.
Pitured below. Dave Wilkins, Colin Clark, Phil Aldridge, Alan Silvestri and Tony Boroviec after they surprised Bazz with stealthily donned wigs when he came out of the loo in Rome accomadation office. ( Well it seemed funny at the time, after all he is the "Wig -finder !)
The Full Crew to date comprises; Dave Wilkins, Phil Aldridge, Barry Hunt, Alan Bush, Colin Clark, Tony Boroviec, Clive Anderson, Nigel Cox, Miles Aldridge, Alan Silvestri, Adrian Jurd, Dan Paterson, Paul Slavin and John P. ( FULL NAME NOT SHOWN FOR LEGAL AND MORAL REASONS ! )
Dave Wilkins. (Soon-to-be ex)... (yes, now ex ) Ordnance Survey. Tour Advisor/arranger/producer/director/flight booker/car park arranger/pre-tour Curry night organiser. Ex O.S. 1st team footballer. Record fair entrepreneur. Hard core indie music fan( Butthole Surfers, Napalm Death, Sonic Youth and early Nolans etc). Long distance walker. Italian linguist. Lapsed beer monster/Coverted Wine drinker and connoisseur. Alternative/indie film buff. Wartime History geek and documentary lover. Walking repository of the largest non-internet based Pasta and Pizza recipe and trade name information system/knowledge-arium. Unprecedented Italia-phile. Currently our C.E.O. (until we can find a way not to be blackmailed by him). Once appeared on Blue Peter naked. Catch-phrase " you put your hand on my knee again and i'll break every bone in your body " Wilkie in three words. Sexy, generous Boss
Phil Aldridge. Ex O.S. 1st team, 2nd team Manager. Radio Jazz presenter. Food buff. Chairman of Southampton Jazz Society. Photographer extrordinaire. The Pun King( not a good thing). Retired. Expert in Litigation and Wrestles Llahma's naked on Wednesdays at Shirley library. Catch-phrase " Ooh Mr Jenkins ! ! " Phil in three words. Jazz, jacket, jokes.
Barry Hunt.( Wilkie's right hand man!) Builder/site management/property maintenance. Recently retired from playing football at a high level (Everest Base camp I think). Wilkietour's on-tour Accountant and financial advisor and purse string juggler. Over-seas driving co-ordinator. Wig-finder general! (you have been warned Europe) and mini-quiz provider. On the Board of Directors. Dry sense of humour and only Wilkie-tourer with his own (REAL) catch-phrase, usually uttered when he is having the pee taken out of him, "I am here you know ! " Keeps Ferrets and is known to prefer extra wide trousers. Baz in three words. Beer, football, mate !
Alan Bush. Retired. Ex O.S. 1st team centre forward. Bournemouth FC number 1 fan. Keeper of Ancient Tour mapping. Health and Safety Officer (honorary). Rigerous destination researcher/Watering hole/feeding station advisor. Came third in the Annual Spelling Bee for Bournemouth District Venture Scouts in 1946. Catch-phrase, " NURSE , it's just a fleshwound" Bushy in three words. Oops, Trip, casualty !
Colin Clark. Ex-Ordnance Surveys hardest worker. Eclectic and Esoteric Music buff. Extreme Gig-Goer. Currently Number 2 " Football Stat'o'tician" (Has previously held the "Stato di Calcio"). Once found a mince pie in his shoe. Catch-phrase, " if music be the food of love...........i'm starving ! ! ! ! " Colin in three words. Music, football, music !
Tony Boroviec. Polish. Soon to be updated by his biographer and close friend Alan Carr. Has a large stockpile of methane gas in his shed. Tony in three words. Football, knowledge, second-to-none !
Seriously though, our very own walking football encyclopedia. Setter of on-tour football quizes, often tour themed, getting everyone head-scratching. Creator of the Spreadsheet and researcher/compiler of on-tour match itinery. Has been known to arrange alternative matches if we are unable to make an arranged match (even when he's still in England ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !! ! ! ! ! ! !! ! ! ! !! ! ! ! !! ! ! !) To my knowlege has correctly answered every football related question he has ever been asked on tour. Amazing. Catch-phrase, "Houston, mam problem, czy toalety dalecko ??? "
Clive Anderson. Ex Lawyer. Chat show host. Comedian. Reviewer. Game show panellist and all round entertainer. Dubious haircut.
PS, i've just noticed our Clive bears a slight similarity to the TV personality also known as Clive Anderson, Who'd of thunk it? What's that Bazz?, they're twins! Well I never...... Clive ate 46 hard boiled eggs in 8 minutes in Corsica. Catch-phrase, " where's my radish? "
Nigel Cox. Ex O.S. Cartographer/Surveyor. British Rail Station-master. The thinker on tour (known to cogitate on a single thought for hours). Expert food and drink critic. Single-handedly planned, led and curated the most Astonishing "Gaudi Day" in Barcelona last January. Highly Accomplished "brownie point accumulator" (the only way he can come on tour). Carried out a successful "Base Jump" from the Eiffel Tower with a re-cycled WW2 parachute. Catch-phrase "platform 9 and 3/4 ! ! ! ........... are you trying to be funny you t**t ? " Nigel in three words. Tall, studious, mind-the-step !
Miles Aldridge. Son of Phil. Perennial Student. Young/fit/healthy/good looking/charming/intelligent/one-of-the-lads/witty/poetry reader/hard drinker/all-round sportsman/ all round good egg. (why the hell is he allowed on tour Dave?) Helped design and build the Large Hadron Collider in Cerne and helped re-polish the faulty Hubble Telescope mirror. Seriously Dave he's got to go... Ed . Catch-phrase " sorry officer, I thought you were a lady " Miles in three words. Young, gifted, young !
Alan Silvestri. (see authors blurb). Has been to see Jimmy Tarbuck 49 times. ( Currently serving a restriction order as Jimmy Tarbuck never actually invited him to his house). Catch phrase " i have a dream.............. a recurring dream......i'm being chased by a tyranasaurus rex.....i'm naked.....should i see a specialist????? " Alan in three words. Fat, old, git ! Shurley shome mishtake. Ed
Adrian Jurd. Ordnance Surveys 4th best "Jethro" impersonator (the west countrys 7th best agricultural comedian). Ex O.S. 1st teamer. Likes whistling the Dambusters tune whilst wearing a kilt. Catch-phrase, " let me tell you a story "
Dan Paterson. T.B.A. Produced and directed a ballet when he was just eleven. Catch-phrase, " I am therefore I can ? "
Paul Slavin. Ex O.S. Cartographer. Wilkietours best 5-a-side footballer (well thats what he told me!) Hard-drinking, womanising, party-starting hell- raiser (and thats just on a Monday). Currently banned from Europe and the Peoples Democratic Republic of Essex. Has a Shitsu dog called Fraulein Fru-Fru. Catch-phrase, " it's in me jeans ! "
John P. Ex Pope. Holds the deepest dive currently known for the San Mariana Trench of 7 metres. Catch-phrase " Bless you. Do you need a tissue? "
Oh sorry, that should be seven miles ! ! !
WILKIE DAN BARRY HELGA CLIVE CONCEPTIONE MILES TONY OLGA NIGEL SLAV BUSHIE COLIN JURDIE JOHN PHIL ALAN